Mary Rita’s Cancer Thriver Grant helps patients cover out of pocket costs related to treatment of gynecologic cancers.
Our Hope Warrior
Mary Rita Godby Ely
4/5/55 – 10/1/24
Written by Dr. Joanie Hope
On October 1, 2024 we lost the most beautiful, tremendous, and unique star in our sky. We lost a fighter, a teacher, a founder, a mother, an organizer, an inspirer, a truth teller, an adventurer, and a hope warrior. We lost Mary Rita Ely, the founding mother of Let Every Woman Know, after her 18-year battle with advanced ovarian cancer. She was 69 years old. Mary Rita’s cancer journey began in August of 2006, at age 51, when she underwent a major debulking surgery and intensive intra-peritoneal chemotherapy. She was cancer free for 4 years. Her cancer came back in 2010, and for the next 14 years she was continuously on treatment. She underwent 11 different therapeutic regimens, enrolled in 2 clinical trials, underwent 2 major surgeries, countless procedures, and travelled to 3 different states for her care.
I met Mary Rita in August of 2010, shortly before her first recurrence and just after I moved to Alaska. I had the tremendous honor of walking and witnessing the 14- year road she navigated so skillfully from the day her cancer returned to the day she passed away. She survived longer than any patient I have ever cared for with advanced recurrent ovarian cancer.
During these years, Mary Rita fought her cancer ferociously and courageously, but she also lived life absolutely fully. Ovarian cancer was part of who she was, but she was not defined by her cancer. Cancer was one thread in her weaving, but she did not allow it to dominate the color, shape or contour of her life’s tapestry.
Mary Rita, co-founded and lead Let Every Woman Know from its inception in 2012 to our most recent 2024 Climbathon, just weeks before she died. She showed up over and over again, giving her time, vision, compassion, sparkle and love to her fellow survivors. She facilitated life changing survivor retreats creating a safe space for vulnerability, grief, joy, and healing. She also continued to work as a special education teacher and her advocacy and love of young people was integrated into everything she did.
I witnessed this most clearly through her relationships with her own children who grew from teens to young adults during her illness. Mary Rita knew how to bring her family close, share her vulnerability, while still protecting them ferociously. She wanted her children involved in her care but also wanted to shield them from the burden and stress of her disease, so they could live their own lives in which she could then fully participate. This was a balance that Mary Rita mastered like a concert pianist. She was the glue, the matriarch, the grandma, the mother, the wife, the sister, the bedrock while simultaneously being the cancer survivor who needed her family’s love and care.
She took to heart the most critical lesson that cancer offers all of us – that TIME is the most precious resource we have. Time must not be taken for granted. Time should be spent on what really matters. Mary Rita used her time to live life with hope and joy and power. She used her time to travel, plan vacations, hear music, dance, talk with her husband, listen to her children, play with her grandchildren, watch SNL, enjoy friends, laugh at every opportunity, speak out when she disagreed, and yes to fight cancer.
And Mary Rita fought cancer well. She understood that living with ovarian cancer was a team sport. She participated actively in her treatment decisions, involving multiple multidisciplinary doctors and her family at each bend in the road and change in direction. She sought evidence-based care, actively participated in clinical research, but also thought outside the box when creative approaches were indicated.
Creativity, in fact, was one of Mary Rita’s super powers. When, I first met her, she looked me up and down with a discerning twinkle in her eye. The thing that seemed to impress her most was my rock and roll band, not 12 years of intensive training qualifying me to sit in that room with her. Mary Rita loved music, she loved dance, she loved art, and she deeply understood how creativity fuels progress and hope. This is why Let Every Woman Know has CREATIVITY as a fundamental component of our mission and vision.
Mary Rita was my HOPE WARRIOR and if you knew her, I know she was yours too. Her loss in our community is profoundly painful. Her life symbolized to me, as her doctor, the possibility that winning is actually possible, that we can beat this terrible disease. And while the tears of grief are flowing, I know that we cannot let her death mean the loss of our hope or our fight. Because that would be doing her legacy a tremendous injustice.
Mary Rita lived for 18 years with ovarian cancer. She was strong enough to tolerate an inconceivable amount of treatment, and lucky enough to keep responding to those treatments over time. She was able to live with hope and vitality even while facing her inevitable mortality. She was a leader able to be lead and a caretaker able to be vulnerable. She knew when to fight which she did long and hard with grit and wisdom. And ultimately, she knew when to let go, which she did with fearless grace and peaceful acceptance.
May her music play on.